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Meet Captain “Gonzo” Johnson, The Prophet of The Great Magnet. Lovechild of renowned Doctor of Journalism, Roaul Duke and DNA from Joan of Arc’s relic ovaries. Marching from the Nevada Desert with The Sixth Reich Army of Circus Circus behind him, Desert wind in what’s left of his hair and a bruised, eye-patched Ape brandishing a Bowie Knife by his side. He's here to trade in reviews and fling Grade A Bull-hockey. THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED……… but a Small Insurgence may be posted on the net.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Sweet Zombie Yahweh !!

(Recounting the events of Saturday the 11th of May ’07)

28 weeks later, the film that is, in reality only 6 days had past. I had arrived at Fritz and John’s flat just before 8 to check the movie with Fritz and Fif’ across the road at the movie house (J was workin’). Once everybody was ready we head out the Spar opposite (again great : ‘ ), where the couple managed to kick off a fight about Dr Pepper of all things. “What’s the worst that could happen?” now I had an early contender.

Now in the movie, I regretted drinking my bottle of water so early as I don’t like to be frightened, t’would be okay at home but cinemas these days have their speakers set to aneurysm. Never been over gone on the horror genre but I do enjoy stuff like this, what I like to call ‘Paranormal Survival Dramas’ or ‘Para-Survivadrams’.

I really liked the movie as I think did my company, Fritz though was put off by images and situations symbolic of Jews entering concentration camps and later being gassed (Adonai H. Emet! Can you imagine a Jewish Zombie, “Excuse me sir, are human brains kosher?”) I decided not to napalm his Teutonic cerebellum and tell him I noticed some zombies wearing orange sashes during the street scenes (the implications!).



Types of Zombies in Music Throughout the Ages
1) The 60's Zombie


2) The Political Zombie


and 3) The Rob Zombie


truly, truly frightening ....

Retraction, Attraction, Then Over-Reaction

It has come to attention that I was previously made the mistake in telling you that Porgy & Bess were Finish when they're French (which I had originally believed, yet that day I must have misheard Finn-ench when I should have heard Frenish, it can happen). Whilst when I beat down the fire doors of perception we'll no longer need Nationality, Passports, Flippers or any other use for the word 'Nice' but for the biscuits, for the moment consider this a retraction. Viva La Franland !!

I do however have quite a fondness for the Scandinavians (a name coming originally from a term for flightless birds). Up there they have no need for 'Piss & Vinegar' for they urinate concentrated Ammonium and pour Britvic '55 on their chips! Not Like You Mediterraneans with Your Slender and Petite Forms! Because of You some of us have to buy XL jacket sizes with the Number 6 On!

My Gawd, I Have Woken The Dragon! Quick, Go Get Me Some Help To Slay This Outrageous Behemoth ! Saint George, Shrek, Dennis F**kin' Quaid, Anybody!! JUST GO NOW, THE F**KERS ALREADY SET AFLAME MY LUXURY BEDROOM KIMONO !!! *

*The views of Capitan Johnson are not necessarily those of FYIrl.com and it associates ....... or anybody within the restraints of reality!
** stands for u and c respectively