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Meet Captain “Gonzo” Johnson, The Prophet of The Great Magnet. Lovechild of renowned Doctor of Journalism, Roaul Duke and DNA from Joan of Arc’s relic ovaries. Marching from the Nevada Desert with The Sixth Reich Army of Circus Circus behind him, Desert wind in what’s left of his hair and a bruised, eye-patched Ape brandishing a Bowie Knife by his side. He's here to trade in reviews and fling Grade A Bull-hockey. THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED……… but a Small Insurgence may be posted on the net.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Of Alpha Dogs & Irishmen

(Recounting the events of Monday the 16th of April, ’07)


Aha, my first FYIrl review, Picture it – Finglas, around 4pm, I had gotten a txt from my colleague who was working at the cinema (for the lack of a more original alias lets call him John). John had procured me a place at a special screening for the coming Friday’s “Alpha Dog". Despite having a killer ear infection (the right side of my face and throat stiff and aching), I decided to head in so I showered, took a slightly early dose of pain killers and taxi’ed it into town. After dropping in on a friend to deliver a present of a stuffed Coyote I had failed to get delivered in time for her birthday, I bought some Halls Soothers (which are great BTW if anybody from Halls is reading
: ' ) in a vain attempt to ease a complete disparate condition. I then drank a bottle of water outside the cinema till I was ready to deal with stuff.

My hearing was mostly intact yet I was slowed, easy confused, in the 5th Level of Discombobulatation (which I believe is entitled “I Think That Guy is STONED!”). Such is the effect of feeling like someone’s stuffed a small Scalelectrix worth of Styrofoam between your skull and right ear. I had some trouble deciphering the queue and procedure deciding instead deciding to sit down and wait to get my friends attention. Once I had gotten my pass I head upstairs, chose an isle seat. I felt somewhat conspicuous, having been admitted in this manner, like a game show contestant who had been given all the answers. But as this lot were all in because of some loyalty scheme or advertisement based website or other I could feel happy that the skill or effort involved was probably the equivalent of Deal or No Deal. I chose box 15 and the movie started.

Justin Timberlake wasn’t as jarring as I thought he may be so I soon lost the urge to beat-box. Almost derailing the sensitivity of the subject matter though was Sharon Stone’s Fat-Gurn-Suit she wore during the interview scene.

Afterward I followed John (who had since finished work) to his nearby lodgings to discussed plans for the site with him and his flatmate (Let’s call him Fritz : ' ). Soon though, tired and in need of a brain drilling, I headed home.

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